The following is my personal online dating experiences. My name is Brianna. A few years ago I was divorced, lonely and hot to trot (read really, really horny). My younger sister Darla suggested that plentyoffish was my answer. I told her that I got the fact that eating lots of fish helped you get omega 3 fatty acids into your system and that was good for your skin and general well-being, but I had never heard of it lowering your sex drive. Besides, my problem was that I did not want to lower my libido, I wanted a man to get it on with! She informed me that it was a dating site that I should try and maybe I could meet a nice guy to spend some time with. At first I was against the idea, but gradually I came around. After all, what did I have to loose? BIG MISTAKE!
I have to agree that plentyoffish is a good name for the site. I did meet some piranhas and a couple of octopus types. Everywhere I looked I kept turning up losers.
The first guy I chatted with told me he loves to play with his kids and spend time walking on the beach. I checked his online profile and lo and behold; no kids. Since he lied to me straight off, I decided to ditch him straight off. Nice thing about online dating sites is that if you block someone, you disappear from their lives forever. WAY COOL!!.
The next man I met in the chat room seemed nice enough. He described himself to me as a trim 35 year old man who had no kids and had been divorced for a few years. He was looking for a serious relationship. When I met the dude in person, he was 65 if he was a day. His hair was all white, and he had quite a beer belly. At least 48 inches! This guy was all duded out like an urban cowboy. Something like how John Travolta was dressed in that movie, but this turkey was older, fatter and uglier. He wanted to take me to a bar. I was polite with him for a while, but as he drank he started to get a bit surly. I did not need any of that crap, so I pretended to go to the powder room and ducked out on him. Good thing I never gave him my address or phone number. In any event, when I got home the first thing I did was to log into good old plentyoffuddyduddies and block him!
The next one spoke in a semi-Ebonics patois, and that is weird considering that he was white and all. All he could talk about was having sex with me. I said that if he touched me I would yell at the top of my voice and call the cops! One more time I had to go on the lam! So there I was, blocking him on plentyofmorons at the first opportunity.
I informed my sister Darla that this dating site thing just wasn’t working and that all I was meeting were losers. She insisted I give it another go so I did, I started chatting with a guy who seemed to be very sensible, smart and funny so I agreed to go out with him.
He took me to a bar that I had frequented at one time in my past. A couple of people recognized me and came over to say hello. I asked them if they wanted to sit with us, and they agreed. After all, this was just a first date and the object was to get acquainted and see how well we interacted. To me that also meant how well he got along with my friends, so I saw no harm. My date was pissed about it. I guess he had different plans than I did as to how the night would go, and realized that having a crowd would not let him hit the home run he was likely trying to score. He said “I'm not standing for this!” I said then sit down and shut up. Turns out he had no sense of humor, didn't dance or drink and when my friend told a joke he replied I'm not getting it. I said that’s right honey your not.
For the next few months, I chatted with a bunch of other guys, but none of them reached my soul in such a way that I thought I might want to meet them. I was no spring chicken anymore, but I do keep in shape, and I am brutally honest. I insist that anybody I team up with have my same high moral standards and keeps themselves healthy. I was continually disappointed for a few more months. I just felt like I was wasting my time. I was beginning to think that a better name for plentyoffish would be plentyofnothing. Just like that old Gershwin song. I caught myself singing that Gershwin song from Porgy and Bess several times when I logged in.
So for most of several months I've been spending my time alone, and not by design. I felt that the dating site was just not working for me at all. Now don't get me wrong, I was getting action, just not like the kind of action I wanted. I was fishing for a nice big swordfish, and all I kept landing were squid, suckers, and other small bait fish. I told my sister that I was tired of online dating sites. They were just not working for me. I did not want to log into plentyoftimewasted any more.
She told me there was another site that some of her friends had used and they seemed to meet some OK guy's. She said she would get me the link to the site. Well I had nothing to lose but more time, and I had scads of that since I did not have any dates. To cut to the chase, I agreed and she got me the link.
As it turned out, the link was not actually to a dating site. It was a link to a site that rated dating sites. There were tons of sites. They were sorted by the type of people that they catered to. With literally ten thousand dating sites or more on the Internet, it was nice to find a place that had already done a lot of the leg work for me. As a result, I joined a couple of the sites, I met some guys and so far I have a couple on the string that seem to be going someplace. I feel like my life is finally going someplace again. What a difference!
I tried to figure out why I was successful on these other sites and not on plentyoffish. I think that the issue is that plentyoffish is free to everybody. Because of that, it attracts a disproportionate amount of losers. If they are not successful or too cheap to pay would you really want to spend the rest of your life with them? But free sites attracts exactly these kinds of people. This site that I went to actually has links to sites that are mostly paying sites. In a way, that is an automatic filter on them because unsuccessful people and cheap people tend to stay away from them. I also found that on some of the most highly recommended sites, only the men had to pay, not the women. As an average female, I have been just as successful on both the paying and the non-paying sites.
So if you want some of the right kind of action, I highly recommend that you try the link below.
Top100datingpersonals.com
I have always found that the best part of having a new sex partner is exploring their kinky side. The cute religious, church going clerk in the next office who can only have an orgasm with you if she does a slow strip first and then screams obscenities while you make love. The cute, shy guy who started last week may turn out to be an exhibitionist who loves having sex in public parks or in the stationary room. You just cannot tell from looking at people what their kink might be.
Take your new object of love out for a couple of drinks so that both of you are loosened up a bit. Pick your bar carefully so that you have to walk by a sex shop on the way back to your transportation. As you pass, ask if they have ever been inside one before. If not, then turn it into an adventure. Ask the clerk what everything is for. For someone who has never done anything before, then the old standbys of whipped cream and chocolate syrup are the easiest sell. More likely though, you will see them get into some of the stuff. Make sure you ask the clerk what items are for if you have never used them. Even if you do not buy anything, it was a way to pass some giddy time.
With the constantly rising cost of living and the bad economy, purchases at a sex shop can get expensive. On top of this, it is absolutely impossible to return anything used (for obvious reasons).
So to help stretch your budget and still allow for your continued pleasure, I have prepared a list of low cost alternatives to the most widely used devices. Please consult with your doctor before trying any of these on yourself or others, and remember to have fun!
Sex In The Office (Or Anywhere For That Matter)
For those not getting enough action there is a simple solution. Set your phone to vibrate and put it down the front of your shorts or panties. Now call it from another phone. This is phone sex taken to an entirely new level! Turn off your voice mail to maximize your pleasure! If you employ another cell phone, you can call yourself during boring meetings, or other venues. Suddenly, pocket dialing is no longer a problem to be dealt with, but a surprise to be welcomed!
Dildos Aplenty At The Grocery Store
Skip the expensive sex shop and browse the aisles of your local grocery store for a suitable alternative. Once you have it home, wash it well in warm water and slide a condom on it. Add an appropriate amount of lube, and see if it has the size you like. The best options are:
1) Cucumber – recommended for average sized vaginas – take the nubs off first though
2) Carrot – this is better for smaller proportioned ladies
3) Zucchini – the best choice for larger sized women.
4) Baking Potato – in reality, the zucchini is easier to hang on to
5) Sweet potato – these can have some interesting twists for your pleasure – select carefully for maximum entertainment.
6) Celery – no matter which end you use, this one will likely be disappointing. Of course now a full bunch might just substitute well if you cannot find an appropriately sized zucchini!
7) Watermelon – Holy Cow! You have to be kidding me! Right?
Once you have an item that works well, then it is safe to go to the adult store and buy a dildo of equal dimensions and perhaps contours. The nice part about veggie sex or veggie masturbation is that if it ends up that the veggie is the wrong size, you’ve only spent a couple of bucks to learn that.
Stay out of the deli department. Anything in there is just a bad idea, no matter how tempting!
Better Orgasms For Women In Real Live Situations
It is a published fact that many women can only achieve an orgasm by having their clitoris stimulated during sex. That’s why a lot of cock rings these days have a little vibrator on the top – so that with every deep thrust of the penis, the vibrator hits the plump clit and the woman gets stimulated. But if you think about it, there are a lot more things in your daily life that vibrate, and you can use that to your advantage. Put something heavy like a running shoe in your washing machine and put it on a spin cycle. That will produce a lot of satisfying vibrations. You also have the fun of getting it off on top of the washing machine.
Another tactic is to put her phone on vibrate, hold it next to her clitoris and you use yours to place repeated sex calls to her while you are having sex. Speed dial is your friend! Phone sex was never like this let me tell you. Depending on her phone plan, this can be very inexpensive and hot. You have to keep the phone dry, so use a condom.
For those of you in California, when the next earthquake hits, get horizontal in a hurry and take advantage of the mega vibrations. You may miss the main one, but the aftershocks should not leave you unprepared. And what a shock the aftershock would have for your partner. Sex on a train is possible in the washroom. Most local commuter trains are on rented tracks that are also used by freight trains. This adds a lot of vibration to any train ride. The washroom may be a little cramped, but the excitement of doing something almost in public might add even more zing. Roller coasters are a thought, but the complexity of pulling it off pretty much makes it a non-starter. Airplanes are at their best in rough weather, but the spoil sports in the cockpits always turn on the seat belt signs. Of course, a blanket or two can give you enough privacy for a quickie. Driving over a washboard road while having sex in the bed of a pickup truck is redneck heaven. Of course you need at least one other person to drive. If you forgo the bed of the truck, you can always get each other off in the front seat. If doing it in the bed, I recommend a mattress, or at least a camp air mattress for more comfort.
Yee Haw!!
If you want some other advice on sex and sexuality, check out these links:
Sex Advice for Men
Sex Advice for Women
For many lesbians, finding another woman to love can be as easy as googling for lesbian dating sites (or even some more general purpose online dating sites) and creating an informative profile that is interesting to read, and then just sit back and wait for them to come to you. Sounds easy right , well it is, but you should also continue taking your own pro-active steps to meet someone. So spend some time reading other profiles online, because not only might you find some really interesting females to connect to, but you could also get some good ideas of things that you could have put in your profile or different ways of phrasing your profile to make it more interesting. After all, if something in someone else's profile catches your eye, then something similarly phrased in your profile will likely catch someone else's eye as well. A number oflesbians are often exposed to different types of groups of people as they go about social, work or other events of importance in their lives. Specialty events are the best places to meet someone with at least one common passion that you can share.
A big mistake that a lot of lesbians make when having their first relationship is getting too involved too early. Soon you might find yourself in bed next to an individual that you barely know. Go out together for a while, take the time to explore if you have anything in common. You should have some common interests, values and plans for the future that will compliment each other. Share things with each other, if you get a new job, if a acquaintance has a baby, a party is planned, a commendation you might have gotten, be sure to involve your partner, after all, they are your best friend, not just your lover.
If you are at a family gathering or with friends and someone starts telling gay and lesbian jokes that are in bad taste and insulting to you and your partner, and you see your partner is upset by it, just get up and leave, tell them you came to enjoy yourselves not to listen to a lot of trash about how other people live their lives. One awkward situation would be to find yourselves at a social or family gathering and hear people dissing the gay and lesbian community at large. This will require you to make a stand and let people know that you will not tolerate statements of that nature. Insult them if you have to. If your family and friends are aware of your sexual preference then tell them that you are not at all amused at what was said, and that if they think your way of life is something to be made fun of and make jokes about then please don't expect you and your partner to attend any more get togethers. You will love who you want and you don't care what anybody else thinks or says.
Introduce your partner to your friends and family and involve them in everything that you do. It is important when you are trying to advance a relationship to involve your family and other friends as much as possible.
Lesbians are God's chosen people, especially when it comes to STD's like aids.. Women just totally understand how to please each other during sex. Gay men are similarly blessed, but too bad about the aids specter. Sex is the one area where a lesbian or gay relationship just runs circles around the hetero types.
Life is for living and enjoying, so live it to the fullest. Share your life with others, and try to surround yourselves with loving and caring family and friends who accept you for what you are and will be there for you at any time should you need them.
Remember that other people may not be comfortable with a lifestyle that they are confused about so try to stick with those who have a positive attitude. Since you are lesbians, then it would be best if many of your friends are from the lesbian community. It is difficult to find truly open minded heterosexual friends, so if you find some, then nurture them well.
One of the great secrets of the bible is that God created Adam and Eve, but then after thinking it through made Eve a woman to keep her happy.
If this article has peaked your interest then you need to visit the link below:
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/lesbiandating.php
Whew boy, was I a horny lady! After my husband and I split, I had been on my own for a couple of years, and had not had one date. Needless to say I had not been with a man either. God help me, one day I found myself eying my 250 pound car mechanic speculatively. I was just so incredibly horny. Now I know what Penelope must have felt like when her husband Odysseus (Ulysses) was gone for seven years.
For the last two years, I had spent all my time juggling a job, not to be mistaken for a career, and my young daughter. I had been counting the days until she started to attend school full time. At least now I had a couple of afternoons a week to myself. There was only one problem. All my free time tended to happen during a couple of split days in the middle of the week. No possibility of any Saturday night prowling around bars like I used to be able to do.
I was in this miasma of despair. I was horny, but I did not know what to do about it. I just kept existing from day to day. I had reached the point where I was going through a half dozen batteries a month for my vibrator! It helped, but it did nothing to assuage your satisfaction. The feeling is not at all what you get when you are copulating with a hot, sweaty male. That is what the human body was engineered for, and I was not getting to take advantage of it. I was not doing what God intended! The difference is like having a TV dinner rather than eating out at a 5 star restaurant to my mind. It keeps you going on a moment to moment basis, but you never feel satisfied. When I caught myself dreaming about making love to Newt Gingrich one night, I knew I had to do something right away. At that point I had to admit it. I was insane! I guess that sex deprivation can do that to you. It is the worst possible torture that you could ever inflict on someone.
I finally turned to the Internet to help me find some relief. The Internet was not my first choice, but all the usual venues for meeting men do not work during weekdays. Afternoon Bridge Clubs are great for meeting women like myself, but most of those places never have any men.. Even though I might be able to meet some retired guys, my objective was to have some mutual satisfying sex. I did not want to risk having their heart stop in the middle of a marathon sexual orgy with me. Church groups, clubs, bars – these were all evening things. There was just no normal place I could meet a man. Choosing the Internet for me was a matter of desperation.
I figured that I needed to be on some form of dating site, but which one? There were thousands of them. Page after page on google search results if you type in dating. The dating sites advertising on television were all about long term relationships, but I was looking for something more casual. I found out about POF.com (formerly plentyoffish) but I saw good and bad reviews of almost every dating site I could find. I was kind of lost. I stumbled on a couple of sites that rated other dating sites, but one in particular also had a lot of dating advice as well. They were kind of sketchy as to what their criteria was, but since I was in no position to second guess them, I ended up joining a few of the sites that they recommended.
Interestingly enough, POF and eharmony are not in their recommended sites. Match is. Much to my surprise, I was what was often referred to as a MILF! I will not translate MILF to you because it is a street term, but I found that if I joined a site specializing in MILFs, that I would find men that are okay with the fact that I have a child. Needless to say, I joined several of the sites on their MILF page.
I was astounded with the attention that I got. I am only an average looking woman to my mind, but I had men offering to date me on their first email to me. What a rush! I found out that Internet dating sites can work really well, but at first they do not. At first you will be swamped by tons of complete crackpots with keyboards. If you are patient though, you can block most of them so that the better healed ones can become more visible to you. Even with all that culling of morons, I was still left with hundreds of decent guys to select from. Since I was not looking for something permanent yet, I tried to focus in on the ones that were looking for a more casual sort of relationship. I mean, I did not want to single out one guy too soon. I was looking for some action and I wanted some variety in that action. No need to settle down right away.
That same reference site I talked about earlier also had a ton of articles about the dos and don't s of Internet dating. I learned that I had to be really careful not to let people know much about me before I was sure about them. Seems like deprived women like myself tend to get a little careless at times when in heat like I was. So I stayed cool, kept anonymous, and kept safe. Eventually I found four different guys who could meet with me on my terms. Two of them had jobs where they worked the weekend, so they had days off in the middle of the week as well. One was working in traveling sales and often found himself in my town in the middle of the week. The other was between jobs. Since I was only in it for the sex, I was only concerned if they were clean, healthy, had a good sex drive, and were disease free. I was in no way interested in a long term live in relationship with any of them. I just wanted my itch scratched, and scratched, and scratched … you get the drift here I'm sure.
Since I would always be meeting them in the middle of the afternoon, it was inherently safer than meeting at night. Still the same, I met each of them separately in crowded public places so I could get a better handle on them. You have no idea how hard it was for me to get through two or three dates each without rushing somewhere and ripping off their clothes. I did however, remember the warnings from the site and took my time. The out of work guy and the salesman were not my cup of tea. I did not have anything in common with either of them, and really felt no emotional bond with them. In my books, no spark, no action, so I culled them from my small herd. The remaining pair are part of my weekly schedule now. I always meet one on Tuesday and I always meet the other on Thursday. Each of them are consummate lovers, so the sex is amazing! Seems that for this farm girl, two is variety enough. For now!
This all started about four months ago, and I am now scouting around on the dating sites for something more permanent. Since I have a couple of guys who are more like friends with benefits, I am able to take my time to finding the love of my life. I am in no hurry. This is any single woman's dream come true from my perspective. At least now I can look for guys who are available at regular times. I am more interested in the long term dating and long term prospects angle on this search. Wish me luck please!
By the way, if you are interested in the site that I found all those dating sites on, you can find it here:
Top 100 Dating Personals
Being single again after a lifetime of marriage and being over fifty can be pretty daunting. Almost half of women over the age of sixty live alone compared to only one out of six men. Dating has certainly changed a lot in the past 30 years or so. Today it is not unusual to see a grandmother buying condoms along with her Metamucil or denture cleaner. Older men are often so confused that they don't know if they should open a door, pull a chair out, or pay for the whole dinner and movie.
Most of us would like to believe that we can come back from the ashes of a previous relationship a few times, but after a while, with little luck, hope will no longer seem so spring eternal anymore. Approaching a relationship the second or third time around can be pretty daunting, especially if you have been out of the game for a few decades because of a successful relationship. Finding yourself splitting in your 50's can be a very shattering experience. Becoming a widow or widower is even more so. People tend to be a bit more set in their ways and comfortable with their life styles when they are in their 50's and beyond. This makes it much more difficult to find someone compatible than when you are in your more flexible 20's. If you are looking to find someone who just meshes with you and your lifestyle, the odds are severely against you. If you intend to find a new life partner, then you must be prepared to do a few changes. These do not have to be radical, but you do need to do some things differently. Personally, I always hated golf, but I took it up so that I would have a better chance of finding someone – and hey, I grew to like it, so it was not a waste.
First dates with the over 50 crowd are always an interesting experience. You never know what to expect. You will get sophisticated to boorish, and every flavor in between. Most will not go to a second date simply because the chemistry is not right. You will often have to sit through a stressful evening of stories about their current job or past profession, their deceased wife, ex girl friends, how good they are in bed, and how their piles are inflamed and they cannot sit for another minute. Of course several of them will also bring up the topic of Cialis or Viagra, just trying to lay a foundation for later on.
And its no picnic for the men. I have heard many disaster stories from friends, who are at the point of no return when it comes to dating. All of these are symptoms of a fundamental incompatibility with each other from the get-go.
Why is it so hard for seniors to find someone compatible? They say life gets easier as you get older. Too bad they can't say the same for senior dating. What is the source of the problem? We are not amateurs in the dating game! It is not as if we do not know what we want. So why is it so tough? Is it because we are too inflexible? Most likely the answer is no! Older people want the same things that younger men and women are seeking to find in a relationship. They all want:
1) Someone To Listen
2) Someone To Care
3)Someone Interesting
4)Someone Compassionate
5)Someone Loving
6)Someone Understanding
7)Someone Compatible
8)Someone With Similar Interests
9)Someone With similar Values
10)Someone To Share Our Lives With
11)Someone Who Respects Me
12)Someone I Can Respect
Is that asking too much?
After discussing my problems with a few of my good friends. They suggested that I try one of the dozens of senior dating sites available online. I shied away from the topic and the idea of a dating site, but after some encouraging words from my pals, and after finding myself seriously considering proposing to my vibrator, I decided to give it a go. I turned on my computer and searched for senior dating sites. There were so many that I was taken aback.
It was pretty overwhelming initially. I started having flashbacks of when I was a kid trying to choose a candy bar at the store. I explained my dilemma to my friends and one of them suggested a place to start. This site is a dating site rating service. They have tested thousands of dating sites, and have a list of the sites that they recommend. All of them are categorized to make it easier to select. My friend said that she had signed up to a couple of the recommended sites just to make sure that she would find someone fast.
She said that is how she met her boyfriend. And all this time I thought she met this terrific guy at work, boy was I taken aback. So I gave them a try, it was a cake walk I just created a profile, told them what I was looking for in a man, and they did the rest. Pretty soon I find myself matched to several interesting guys, and they can all actually carry on an intelligent conversation. I'm in dating heaven! For the first time in in what seems like centuries I am actually going out with fabulous men and it's so exciting, life really does get better with age.
If you are a mature man or women and you are looking for a new love in your life with, then take the first step. Follow the link below and sign up to one of the recommended sites. You'll be glad you did.
http://www.top100datingpersonals.com/seniordating.php
The Killer May Have Been the Date from Hell!
Sonia Varaschin was killed because she was lonely.
This recent tragedy in the Orangeville Ontario Canada area is the worst possible outcome of online dating sites. In this case, the victim's computer was researched for leads, but the real tragedy is the victim's choice of sites.
In choosing a free dating site like plentyoffish.com, the victim unwittingly maximized her risks. Let me qualify this statement.
I am not singling our plentyoffish.com, because other free online dating sites like OKcupid.com fall in the same camp. These are not the only sites, but are two of the largest sites in this camp. Many of these sites are not even cognizant of the increased risk that they expose their customers to.
The problem here is that any site that allows two people to communicate in any way for free is dangerous. Here is why.
There are a lot of freaks and perverts out there. These range from simple nerds to sociopaths. There is a very real chance that someone who appears to be nice in a chat room is not so wonderful in real life, and the most dangerous ones are very clever at hiding their anti-social behavior. The most dangerous of course are homicidal stalkers. They may think nothing of taking your life.
You may wonder why I am singling out free online dating sites, when in fact I am not.
This range of sites also includes facebook.com. So the next time you accept a friend request from someone that you are not sure you know, think again. About the only thing that protects you from stalkers on facebook is that the friend of the friend you are accepting actually knows one of your friends. But if you and your friends are the types that just click on every friend request in some game to get the most friends on their list, then you are setting up people that you cherish in your life to a lot of hurt.
Social networking sites that require some form of payment before allowing communication are inherently safer. The reason is that the payment process is a very easy trace for police to follow, and for that very reason, sociopaths and known sexual predators stay clear of these sites. It only takes them a small amount of time to set up a string of bogus email account on yahoo using a real email account as reference, then set up a phoney email account on gmail ,then erase the initial yahoo account. Now just tie the gmail account to a fictitious email on AOL and it makes it tough to track you. Smart stalkers use a trail for free emails spanning several countries and corporate entities, thus becoming more invisible. Once the stalker has a largely untraceable email account on a free service like gmail, then they are free to use it to join all the free communication sites out there. If they couple this with a disposable cell phone, you are now fully communicating with someone who looks legit, but is untraceable by anyone. They are free to do what they please with you..
So what can you do about it?
Well the first, and most important step is to stay off of free social network dating sites. They are just plain risky.
These next tips are just common sense details:
1) Make sure you communicate online for a fair length of time before meeting in person. Make sure that you use the anonymity features that most dating sites give you and do not let out any contact details to the person – such as where you work, live, or your external email address.
2) At the point where you want to hear their voice, use an untraceable cell phone or myprivateline.com.
3) When communicating, keep your bullshit filters set to maximum alert. Look for inconsistencies. Look for inconsistencies in what they tell you by asking similar questions and making sure that the answers line up consistently. Be careful if the answers are not the same. He just might be stalking you. Stalkers will often mix up the stories that they tell different women, and that is one of your best weapons in finding if they are genuine or bullshit.
4) Seek recent photos, and think of some way that you can verify that the photo is recent.
5) Tell them that you are being careful right off the get-go. If they are honest and aboveboard, then they will not take offence and will comply. Be willing to reciprocate. Consider using the public library and use a current newspaper from a different town to keep your location secret.
6) Your first date should be in a public place and you should meet him there, and do not go home with your date.
7) Use your camera phone to take a picture of your date and send it to a friend while you are on the date, just in case something happens. He should know up front you are doing this, and if he has a problem with taking his picture, then get out ASAP!
Use your head before you let yourself lose your heart.
Now for a good resource to find sites where men have to pay to contact you, check out the following link:
Online Dating Sites
It was tough living across the hall from one of the most amazing specimens of a man that I had ever laid eyes on. He was your classic tall dark and handsome. He had all his deep brown hair, a muscular physique, and was tall. At least six feet two inches I have never had any problems attracting the attention of men, and he would have been perfect for my five foot ten 'statuesque' body, but there was just one problem with this guy. We could not keep a conversation going for the love of us. I mean every time we passed in the hall, all we managed to do was grunt hello at each other. I tried a couple of times to strike up a conversation, but they always ended up in awkward silences after less than three sentences. At times I thought he was shy, but I was more inclined to believe that he was just not that into me.
I was single and had a roommate. I had never known her before she responded to an ad I took out in the paper. I needed someone to split the rent with. It is kind of tough for single women like ourselves who are just getting started in the work force to rent an apartment on our own, so like so many other women, we rented a two bedroom apartment and split the costs. We got along reasonably well, and did our best to warn each other if we might be bringing a hottie home with us that night so the other could stay out of the way. Since my roommate was a sex screamer, I usually holed up in my room with my mp3 player on full and a good romantic novel. Sometimes I would just lay back and entertain myself with my vibrator. With that lack of privacy, we became quite close friends and often shared our deepest secrets and life aims.
At this particular time, I was between boyfriends. As many women have experienced, when you have nobody in your life on a daily basis, you start to slip up on the care and maintenance of your body department. Since I had snagged a couple of pair of panty hose in the last few days on my leg stubble, the cost of not maintaining was starting to catch up with the maintenance costs. I only had so many pairs of slacks, and after a while it got boring wearing pants every day. Since my room mate was going out with her current beau that night, I decided to give myself the once over. Dye my roots, shave off the stubble on my legs, and took a nice long bubble bath.
One good thing about our apartment was that it seemed to have limitless supplies of hot water, so I took to indulging in that luxury at every opportunity. So after I had touched up my roots, I had a quick shower to wash the excess dye out of my hair. Then I shaved my legs. At that point I drained the tub, had another quick rinse in the shower to get any stray hairs off of my body, and then filled the tub again for a nice long, hot bubble bath. I laid back with my eyes closed for about five minutes, when I heard the sound of a single drip. A few seconds later there was another one, and then another. So much for peace and quiet. I sat up hoping to fix it. My first thought was that I had not shut off the tap tightly enough, but when I checked that was not the case. Then I realized that it must just be the shower draining back through the spout.
I tried to relax again, but the constant dripping was just wearing on me. My own little personal Chinese water torture. So I rested against the back of the tub again, and lifted my toe up to the end of the faucet. The next drip just ran down my toe, down my foot and slipped silently into the water. Since that worked pretty well, I kept doing it. Pretty soon I was just laying there with my eyes closed running my toe around the end of the spout. I guess I dozed off because the next thing I knew, I was breathing in soap bubbles. Naturally I sneezed, and the reflex made my toe jam up into the spout. No amount of trying would get that toe to move. It was like it had been glued in.
I sat there for about a half hour trying to remove my toe, but I could not. I was starting to see the silliness of the situation but the water was getting cooler. An hour or so later, there was no more humor in the situation. The water was cold and I was shivering. I realized that I could just touch my towel, so after hitching it over, I let the water out and covered myself with my makeshift blanket. By this time my entire leg was aching and my toe was pretty much numb. All I could do was sit back and wait for my roommate to get back from her date.
Fortunately for me she came in early. She had had a fight with her boyfriend. So when she came in, I called her to come and help me. She tried all the things I had already, with pretty much the same results. The notable exception was that it hurt a lot more. My roommate suggested the fire department, but I put a stop to that right away. I said that they would likely use something to cut the tap off the wall. I was concerned about the bill to the landlord. I was also concerned about what would happen to my toe if they slipped while cutting the spout off.
Since I would not let her call the fire department, or the paramedics for that matter, she did the only other thing that she could think of. She ran out and knocked on the door of the hunky guy across the hall. He opened the door for her right away, and came over immediately. At least I was mostly covered when he walked in. He tried the brute force approach that my roommate and I had already attempted, but with no better luck. When I screamed, he was immediately contrite, and begged my forgiveness. He looked so woebegone that he had hurt me that I had to forgive him. I mean what else could I do, he was trying to help! He was even more hunky up close. He was wearing a tee shirt and his muscles were rippling as he had almost removed my toe from my foot.
He asked for some vegetable oil and crushed ice after he thought about things a bit more. Seemed strange to me, but my roommate rushed to give him what he wanted. When she returned he cupped his hands around my big toe and asked her to pour some oil in. When they were finished, I had oil all over my toe, and there was also oil up inside the spout. He tried pulling gently, but it still was stuck. Next he packed my toe in the crushed ice for about ten minutes and tried again. He reasoned that my toe had swollen in the hot water and having been jammed. He tried again, and it still did not work.
So he thought about it some more and then asked my roommate for a plastic freezer bag or something sort of heavy plastic sheeting. She returned with a grocery store bag and a heavier bag from a woman's boutique that she frequented. He said the grocery bag was too thin, but decided that the bag from the boutique would be adequate for his purposes. He then went to his apartment and came back with a wrench. He removed the shower head, put the bag over the pipe, and then put the shower head back on. When I asked why he did that, he said it would keep the water from coming out. I could see that, but I still did not understand why he needed to do that. Then he iced my toe again for about twenty minutes. It sure was getting cold by then. At this point, he pulled down on my foot and told my roommate to turn the water on full blast. Out popped my toe. He slipped and fell on top of me and in the scramble my towel fell off.
After the shock, I started to laugh. I mean, there I was fully naked with this hot guy all over me, and my roommate looking on. It was almost like some sort of threesome porn movie. We were soon all doubled up in hysterical laughter. The laughter covered up any embarrassment that I might have felt over being naked. But to tell the truth, I was just so relieved to be free of the toe trap, that I couldn't care less.
The best thing about the evening though was that it smashed that darn communication problem we were having. We chatted and laughed for the rest of the evening, and I maneuvered him into asking me out the next night before I let him go home. The next night, I was still limping a bit, but I sure did enjoy myself, and so did he.
That was six months ago and everything has been doing great since then. Who would have thought that my date with a drip would have worked out so well.
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