I have always found that the best part of having a new sex partner is exploring their kinky side. The cute religious, church going clerk in the next office who can only have an orgasm with you if she does a slow strip first and then screams obscenities while you make love. The cute, shy guy who started last week may turn out to be an exhibitionist who loves having sex in public parks or in the stationary room. You just cannot tell from looking at people what their kink might be.
Take your new object of love out for a couple of drinks so that both of you are loosened up a bit. Pick your bar carefully so that you have to walk by a sex shop on the way back to your transportation. As you pass, ask if they have ever been inside one before. If not, then turn it into an adventure. Ask the clerk what everything is for. For someone who has never done anything before, then the old standbys of whipped cream and chocolate syrup are the easiest sell. More likely though, you will see them get into some of the stuff. Make sure you ask the clerk what items are for if you have never used them. Even if you do not buy anything, it was a way to pass some giddy time.
With the constantly rising cost of living and the bad economy, purchases at a sex shop can get expensive. On top of this, it is absolutely impossible to return anything used (for obvious reasons).
So to help stretch your budget and still allow for your continued pleasure, I have prepared a list of low cost alternatives to the most widely used devices. Please consult with your doctor before trying any of these on yourself or others, and remember to have fun!
Sex In The Office (Or Anywhere For That Matter)
For those not getting enough action there is a simple solution. Set your phone to vibrate and put it down the front of your shorts or panties. Now call it from another phone. This is phone sex taken to an entirely new level! Turn off your voice mail to maximize your pleasure! If you employ another cell phone, you can call yourself during boring meetings, or other venues. Suddenly, pocket dialing is no longer a problem to be dealt with, but a surprise to be welcomed!
Dildos Aplenty At The Grocery Store
Skip the expensive sex shop and browse the aisles of your local grocery store for a suitable alternative. Once you have it home, wash it well in warm water and slide a condom on it. Add an appropriate amount of lube, and see if it has the size you like. The best options are:
1) Cucumber – recommended for average sized vaginas – take the nubs off first though
2) Carrot – this is better for smaller proportioned ladies
3) Zucchini – the best choice for larger sized women.
4) Baking Potato – in reality, the zucchini is easier to hang on to
5) Sweet potato – these can have some interesting twists for your pleasure – select carefully for maximum entertainment.
6) Celery – no matter which end you use, this one will likely be disappointing. Of course now a full bunch might just substitute well if you cannot find an appropriately sized zucchini!
7) Watermelon – Holy Cow! You have to be kidding me! Right?
Once you have an item that works well, then it is safe to go to the adult store and buy a dildo of equal dimensions and perhaps contours. The nice part about veggie sex or veggie masturbation is that if it ends up that the veggie is the wrong size, you’ve only spent a couple of bucks to learn that.
Stay out of the deli department. Anything in there is just a bad idea, no matter how tempting!
Better Orgasms For Women In Real Live Situations
It is a published fact that many women can only achieve an orgasm by having their clitoris stimulated during sex. That’s why a lot of cock rings these days have a little vibrator on the top – so that with every deep thrust of the penis, the vibrator hits the plump clit and the woman gets stimulated. But if you think about it, there are a lot more things in your daily life that vibrate, and you can use that to your advantage. Put something heavy like a running shoe in your washing machine and put it on a spin cycle. That will produce a lot of satisfying vibrations. You also have the fun of getting it off on top of the washing machine.
Another tactic is to put her phone on vibrate, hold it next to her clitoris and you use yours to place repeated sex calls to her while you are having sex. Speed dial is your friend! Phone sex was never like this let me tell you. Depending on her phone plan, this can be very inexpensive and hot. You have to keep the phone dry, so use a condom.
For those of you in California, when the next earthquake hits, get horizontal in a hurry and take advantage of the mega vibrations. You may miss the main one, but the aftershocks should not leave you unprepared. And what a shock the aftershock would have for your partner. Sex on a train is possible in the washroom. Most local commuter trains are on rented tracks that are also used by freight trains. This adds a lot of vibration to any train ride. The washroom may be a little cramped, but the excitement of doing something almost in public might add even more zing. Roller coasters are a thought, but the complexity of pulling it off pretty much makes it a non-starter. Airplanes are at their best in rough weather, but the spoil sports in the cockpits always turn on the seat belt signs. Of course, a blanket or two can give you enough privacy for a quickie. Driving over a washboard road while having sex in the bed of a pickup truck is redneck heaven. Of course you need at least one other person to drive. If you forgo the bed of the truck, you can always get each other off in the front seat. If doing it in the bed, I recommend a mattress, or at least a camp air mattress for more comfort.
Yee Haw!!
If you want some other advice on sex and sexuality, check out these links:
Sex Advice for Men
Sex Advice for Women
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